Updated: Sep 16, 2019
As I sit at my desk reliving the moments from earlier this morning when my oldest son stepped onto the bus for the first day of Kindergarten, I’m overwhelmed by a multitude of contrasting feelings - as any Mom who has been there before knows. I feel excited, enthusiastic and opportunistic. But, also sorrowful with a hint grief.
I will miss having Silas around all day; at my feet as I cook, requesting my presence when he needs help with a toy. I may even miss him bickering with his brother. No longer will he accompany me to the grocery store and on my weekly errands. I will miss the freedom of the carefree weekdays at the park and the zoo. I feel like I’m grieving the loss of my best friend. (More realistically, that my best friend just moved to another state and we will no longer be spending every moment together).
But the truth is, starting Kindergarten is so much more than time apart. Today we have reached the most significant milestone of his life thus far; this is no doubt why I’m feeling this array emotions.
I never really thought I would be so emotional today. Until today, I only saw change that would allow my son to learn and grow, new routines that would nourish his spirit and soul, life lessons that he would carry into his adulthood and opportunities for lifelong friendships. And I still see all of these things… But today, I also see my loss. How bittersweet it is to encourage our children go out into the world.
Like a momma bird pushing her babies out of the nest, I pray my boy flies. I put my faith in God that he will protect and guide my son. I know that His plans for Silas are much greater than I can imagine.
To all the other Mom’s sending their children off to school for the first time this year: embrace these emotions… all of them. With change comes grief as we reflect on what we are giving up in order to move forward. But, the reward of taking that next step is as great as we will allow it to be… Allow it to be great in your life, to manifest into a new season of growth and love.
Isaiah 54:13 “All of your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children”